Episode 7: The Slightly Naughty Saint Nick

Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thor slaughters seventeen thousand slithering snakes by firing lightning bolts from his arse, while saying various triumphant catch phrases like; "Careful there's no antidote for that strain of venom!" or "I eat evil.. for breakfast!" Whereas Neil plays the sympathy card (a single golden tear fell from Neil's face, and when it hit the ground it made a sound that was heard across the land. And those who heard the noise said, "A man has been wronged today".) Subsequently they resort to giant robot fighting means.

Neil The Real Deal said...
three words.. tunnel of love.
Or something similar.

Syonik said...
meanwhile, Keldon should investigate and try to get to the source of the Neil-ists

For the purpose of writing a Christmas episode, some comments will not be used. We apologize for the inconvenience.

As we continue...
Thorvald thinks to himself, "There must be some way that I can prove that I am better than Neil and show Kelsey how devoted I am to her."
Neil thinks a similar thought, but with less words.
Thor looks around him. As he surveys the carnival he wonders what sort of challenges he could overcome whilst in her presence.
"Snake pit," a carney yells, "come see the ferocious and quite deadly snakes battle each other. What could be more ferocious and deadly? Nothing, that's what!"
"Say, Kelsey," he addresses her, "let's go and view that marvelous attraction."
They walk into the dark and ominous looking tent. Inside, the stench of reptilian filth wafts up to their nostrils and causes them to gag. Thor sees asps and adders, vipers and boas. Those that can send a human into eternal sleep with a single bite and those that can wrap around a man and strangle from him his last breath.
Suddenly a man dressed in red with white accents (including his conical hat with a small ballish puff on the end) leaps in from outside the tent, shoves Kelsey into the snake pit, and jumps back out.
Thor leaps in after Kelsey. He crouches and looks around. The snakes stare him down as they prepare to strike. Thor waits for their first move.
A lone viper leaps at him, aiming his fangs for Thor's neck. Thor ducks the attack and watches as the snake smashes violently into the wall. One snake is incapacitated, forty-nine remain.
"There's no antidote for that poison!" Thor shouts.
The remaining snakes all leap at him at once. Thor lets three adders crash into each other while stomping on a coral snake and swatting a boa into the wall. Over the next five minutes Thor performs a series of kicks, jabs, and punches (with a liberal serving of grunts on the side). He defeats all of the snakes and rescues the fair Kelsey from peril.
Neil finds them as the exit the tent. He notices their disheveled state and becomes concerned.
"What happened?"
"A man in red with a funny conical hat pushed Kelsey into the snake pit."
"Let's see, a man in red with a funny conical hat."
Neil thinks for a while
"That must be Santa Clause!"
"He must be hunted down and defeated!" Thor cries.
"I only know of one man who can help us in our struggle," Neil says. "The Grinch."
And so our heroes travel to the great state of Washington. The Grinch lives here, at the peak of Mount Rainier, the highest peak in the Cascade Mountain Range. They begin their trek up the perilous mountain. Thor takes the lead, Kelsey follows behind him, and Neil follows her (they left Keldon at home). And on Thor's shoulder rides his trusty pet, Rainbow Valkyrie. After a arduous and perilous trek they finally reach the top. They walk to the door of the Grinch's lair and knock on the door.
"Who is it?" a harsh voice is heard to ask.
"Valiant questsmen who wish to take down the Clause," Thor answers.
"Well then, come in and have some hot cocoa while I help you formulate a plan."
They enter and take a brief glance at their new surroundings.
"What a lot of trash!" Neil exclaims.
"You may wait outside," the Grinch retorts.
"Poop babies," Neil curses.
After much deliberation they decide that they must wait until Christmas Eve, Santa's busiest night, and then attack him with an array of ancient weaponry.

New episode coming Christmas Eve!