Neil The Real Deal said...
the next one should include some sort of space adventure. also the squirrel should come back to haunt them, the one they hit with the rock.
Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thor thinking quickly heaves Neil at the fearsome foe, lodging him deep in the wolf's temple.
Charhead said...
A pancake is somehow involved.
Robert van Wye said...
I'd like to remind Neil that...nevermind. Space travel is plausible to the story line.
Syonik said...
Though, perhaps not space...but time!
Or valhalla
As we continue...
Thorvald, in a moment of genius, grasps his mighty hammer and holds it out to Neil.
"Take this!"
"Why?"
"Just do it or I'll imbed it in your skull."
"Fine. But don't expect me to like it."
Neil grips the hammer and struggles to lift it. Meanwhile Thor grabs him and whips him around his head in a circular pattern. After five or four rapid circles he lets fly. Neil flies through the air in a beautiful arc. The wolf, seeing Neil coming, races toward his prey. Neil's first instinct is to protect his head. In a burst of adrenaline he swings the hammer between his cranium and the wolf's oral orifice. The hammer smashes into the wolf's canine canines and through into his temple. Consequently, the wolf permanently loses consciousness.
"Excellent work, Neil," Thor says from behind him.
"How did you get to shore so fast?"
"I tied a rope around your ankles and used the great strength of my brutish throw."
"That's a bit far-fetched don't you think?"
"No. It seems perfectly plausible to me."
"Right. Now what?"
"Now we find our way out of the forest."
"Hey look! That sign says, 'This way out of forest.' Maybe we should go that way."
"Great thinking, Neil."
And so they find themselves in a small suburb. The previous events have caused them to work up quite an appetite. They immediately go to a nearby pancake joint and order up four stacks of pancakes. Thor eats three stacks. Neil eats one pancake. Under this pancake is a cryptic message instructing them to find their way to the city limits and meet a shady looking character. So they do.
They meet up with said shady looking character.
"My name is Charlie G. Nice to meet me," he says
"Don't you mean 'nice to meet you?'" Neil asks.
"Of course it is. That's what I said isn't it?"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"No, I said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"That's what I just said!"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet you.'"
"Enough!" Thor interjects, "What do you want of us?"
"Oh. Right. Umm...just go in that door over there."
"Why?" Thor asks.
"You'll see," he attempts to say between snickers.
"Fine," Thor says.
They enter through the door and find themselves in a cylindrical metal room. Below them is a door. Above them is a door. In front of them is a button that says, "Push only if completely confused." So they do.
Below them they hear the rumble of engines as the rocket blasts off. The look out the conveniently placed convex porthole to see Charlie G laughing his head off.
"What a strange man," Neil observes.
The rocket accelerates past lightspeed and well into hyperdrive. A couple days later Thor and Neil (who have been doing many crossword puzzles) feel a small bump. When they look out the porthole they find themselves on alien terrain. The bluish tint of the sand and the reddish tint of the sun lead them to the conclusion that they are on a different planet. Thor heads toward the door.
"Wait!" Neil shouts.
"What?"
"How do you know there's air out there?"
"I don't," Thor replies as he opens the door. "Hey, I'm still breathing. You can stop covering your facial cavities now."
After a few hours of exploring they decide to sit down for a rest.
"Where are we?" Neil asks.
"Well, judging from the signs I would say we're on the fourth planet of the Gilba system, Valhalla."
"You're making that up."
"No, look at that sign."
Neil looks to his left and sees a sign that says in many languages (both terran and extraterrestrial), "Welcome to beautiful Valhalla, the fourth planet of the Gilba system."
"Ooooooh," floats a voice from behind them.
"What's that?" asks a very nervous Neil.
"It looks like some sort of semi-transparent squirrel."
They walk toward it and determine that it is some sort of hologram.
"Look, civilization!" exclaims Neil.
As they walk into the golden city they ponder many questions. What will they find? Will the natives speak English? Will they ever get home? Is the plural of platypus really platypodes?
How will Thor and Neil conduct themselves on this alien planet? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
3.09.2009
Episode 11: The Northwestern Excursion
Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thorvald uses rock
Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions
Neil The Real Deal said...
Neil should wip out his sailing knowledge and save everyone in a dramatic getaway.
Syonik said...
BTW, this mission should lead Thorvald the the Pacific Northwest, where he can meet some new, if temporary sidekicks.
As we continue...
Back at the lab, Thor goes about his morning routine of brushing his teeth, drinking his coffee, and gnawing on a large hock of ham. He notices, however, that the morning paper has not been delivered. Not one to sit about wondering why such a tragedy has occurred, he decides to investigate. He studies all the signs; the broken mailbox, the smears of mustard on the ground, and the large sign saying, "Vote Sarah Palin for President in 2012!" He then concludes that whilst Neil was eating a hot dog and pounding in the political sign, he must have slipped and dropped his wiener (explaining the mustard smears). Also, some mail thief broke their mailbox and absconded with their mail that morning (also taking the paper with him).
"Rats," he says, "I was looking forward to reading up on the new slide they're putting in at the public park."
So he walks down to the newspaper stand. He notices a teenager sitting by the stand reading a graphic novel about a man marooned on an island. He buys his newspaper and is about to head home when he notices a large dog in the middle of the road. This is no ordinary dog, mind you. It's so huge that if it scratched its ears it would cause a small earthquake the likes of which old people would talk about for years on end (luckily its ears didn't itch).
"Hello dog."
"Hello man."
"You talk?"
"You talk. Why shouldn't I?"
"Fair enough."
"Good day."
"Good day."
And so they go their respective ways.
Back at the lab Thor sits down to read his paper. Suddenly the television snaps on.
"Hello, Thorvald."
"Who are you? And how do you know my name? In fact, how did you know I was even in the room?"
"Let's just say I'm the villain of the plot. Let's just say we've been watching you for quite some time. AND let's just say that the new 'magnet' on the fridge should be 'taken care of' post haste."
"You're starting to creep me out."
"Let's just say..."
"Stop. I mean it."
"Oh alright. Just come to Washington state so we can duel it out. If you don't a little girl is going to be disappointed. Veeery disappointed."
"How disappointed?"
"Let's just say that she'll be so disappointed she'll be dead."
"Um...that was terrible. And your delivery was awful."
"I will not stand here and be criticized! Good day!"
The television snaps off.
Some minutes later, Thor is packing. Neil is ambling around in his underwear. Keldon is tinkering with an object that resembles the illegitimate child of a blender and a toaster oven.
"What's that?" Thor asks.
"It's a device that allows one to speak to animals."
"Really? Have you tested it out yet."
"Yes. This morning I used it with a dog in order to allow him to vocalize his higher thinking abilities."
"Oh. I ran into him earlier. It worked great. Why are you still messing with it?"
"Well, I would rather give the animals a sea dialect whereas they currently speak with a cockney."
"Ah. We need to go to Seattle."
"Feel free to take the portal."
"What portal?"
"It looks like the illegitimate child of a computer and a refrigerator."
"Oh. That thing."
After a quick trip to Willy's Fine Weapon Emporium Thor and Neil find themselves fully armed and ready for a journey into the great Pacific Northwest.
"Did you pack snacks?" Neil asks.
"Um...no."
"Use-a you brain-a next time-a you think-a!"
"We'll get some snacks when we get there."
With a high pitched whine, a few sparks, a crackle, and the scent of ozone, they were off. After a couple seconds they were standing in a forest. Thor felt nauseous. Neil vomited.
"Great. 'We'll get some snacks we get there,' huh?"
"Shut up and let me reorient myself. Let's see, that's North and that's East. Let's go West."
"Fine. But you owe me food."
Thor sees a small squirrel in a tree and dry branches on the ground.
"Just a minute."
Thor grabs a large yet surprisingly round rock and lobs it at the beast. It leaps out of the way in the nick of time. The rock continues to fly through the air, finally falling and thwacking another squirrel on the head.
"Not what I meant to do but it works."
Thor builds a small fire and cooks the squirrel.
"Now I owe you no longer."
"Fine. But it tasted awful and it was impossible to chew."
They find their way out of the forest and onto a highway. There they continue to walk in a westerly direction. They find their way to a small lake. There they decide to rest and participate in recreational activities such as swimming and burying each other in the cold dirt (which is not as much fun as in the warm sand).
Suddenly, a large wolf jumps out of a bush at them. Now Thor could take down scores of normal wolves easily. But this one is so huge that he doubts they can escape, let alone defeat it. And so they run. Neil notices a smallish sailing vessel moored to a nearby dock.
"Quick, into the boat."
Neil uses his particularly fine sailing skills to steer them out into the middle of the lake, out of reach of the wolf. The wolf circles around the lake, waiting for them to leave the boat so that he can attack and devour our fearless hero and his braver-than-most sidekick.
How will Thor and Neil escape this dire predicament? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
Thorvald uses rock
Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions
Neil The Real Deal said...
Neil should wip out his sailing knowledge and save everyone in a dramatic getaway.
Syonik said...
BTW, this mission should lead Thorvald the the Pacific Northwest, where he can meet some new, if temporary sidekicks.
As we continue...
Back at the lab, Thor goes about his morning routine of brushing his teeth, drinking his coffee, and gnawing on a large hock of ham. He notices, however, that the morning paper has not been delivered. Not one to sit about wondering why such a tragedy has occurred, he decides to investigate. He studies all the signs; the broken mailbox, the smears of mustard on the ground, and the large sign saying, "Vote Sarah Palin for President in 2012!" He then concludes that whilst Neil was eating a hot dog and pounding in the political sign, he must have slipped and dropped his wiener (explaining the mustard smears). Also, some mail thief broke their mailbox and absconded with their mail that morning (also taking the paper with him).
"Rats," he says, "I was looking forward to reading up on the new slide they're putting in at the public park."
So he walks down to the newspaper stand. He notices a teenager sitting by the stand reading a graphic novel about a man marooned on an island. He buys his newspaper and is about to head home when he notices a large dog in the middle of the road. This is no ordinary dog, mind you. It's so huge that if it scratched its ears it would cause a small earthquake the likes of which old people would talk about for years on end (luckily its ears didn't itch).
"Hello dog."
"Hello man."
"You talk?"
"You talk. Why shouldn't I?"
"Fair enough."
"Good day."
"Good day."
And so they go their respective ways.
Back at the lab Thor sits down to read his paper. Suddenly the television snaps on.
"Hello, Thorvald."
"Who are you? And how do you know my name? In fact, how did you know I was even in the room?"
"Let's just say I'm the villain of the plot. Let's just say we've been watching you for quite some time. AND let's just say that the new 'magnet' on the fridge should be 'taken care of' post haste."
"You're starting to creep me out."
"Let's just say..."
"Stop. I mean it."
"Oh alright. Just come to Washington state so we can duel it out. If you don't a little girl is going to be disappointed. Veeery disappointed."
"How disappointed?"
"Let's just say that she'll be so disappointed she'll be dead."
"Um...that was terrible. And your delivery was awful."
"I will not stand here and be criticized! Good day!"
The television snaps off.
Some minutes later, Thor is packing. Neil is ambling around in his underwear. Keldon is tinkering with an object that resembles the illegitimate child of a blender and a toaster oven.
"What's that?" Thor asks.
"It's a device that allows one to speak to animals."
"Really? Have you tested it out yet."
"Yes. This morning I used it with a dog in order to allow him to vocalize his higher thinking abilities."
"Oh. I ran into him earlier. It worked great. Why are you still messing with it?"
"Well, I would rather give the animals a sea dialect whereas they currently speak with a cockney."
"Ah. We need to go to Seattle."
"Feel free to take the portal."
"What portal?"
"It looks like the illegitimate child of a computer and a refrigerator."
"Oh. That thing."
After a quick trip to Willy's Fine Weapon Emporium Thor and Neil find themselves fully armed and ready for a journey into the great Pacific Northwest.
"Did you pack snacks?" Neil asks.
"Um...no."
"Use-a you brain-a next time-a you think-a!"
"We'll get some snacks when we get there."
With a high pitched whine, a few sparks, a crackle, and the scent of ozone, they were off. After a couple seconds they were standing in a forest. Thor felt nauseous. Neil vomited.
"Great. 'We'll get some snacks we get there,' huh?"
"Shut up and let me reorient myself. Let's see, that's North and that's East. Let's go West."
"Fine. But you owe me food."
Thor sees a small squirrel in a tree and dry branches on the ground.
"Just a minute."
Thor grabs a large yet surprisingly round rock and lobs it at the beast. It leaps out of the way in the nick of time. The rock continues to fly through the air, finally falling and thwacking another squirrel on the head.
"Not what I meant to do but it works."
Thor builds a small fire and cooks the squirrel.
"Now I owe you no longer."
"Fine. But it tasted awful and it was impossible to chew."
They find their way out of the forest and onto a highway. There they continue to walk in a westerly direction. They find their way to a small lake. There they decide to rest and participate in recreational activities such as swimming and burying each other in the cold dirt (which is not as much fun as in the warm sand).
Suddenly, a large wolf jumps out of a bush at them. Now Thor could take down scores of normal wolves easily. But this one is so huge that he doubts they can escape, let alone defeat it. And so they run. Neil notices a smallish sailing vessel moored to a nearby dock.
"Quick, into the boat."
Neil uses his particularly fine sailing skills to steer them out into the middle of the lake, out of reach of the wolf. The wolf circles around the lake, waiting for them to leave the boat so that he can attack and devour our fearless hero and his braver-than-most sidekick.
How will Thor and Neil escape this dire predicament? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
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