theRealOne said...
I think that Thor should have gas problems that lead to the escape...
Also, I think that the Crabby Patty Secret Formula needs to become an integral part of the plot
As we continue...
Thor and Neil survey the surrounding hordes and realize that they are, quite frankly, screwed. Suddenly Thor feel a rumbly in his tumbly. As the pressure builds to a peak, he bends over and screams as his giant flatulence erupts out of his rear end. The sheer stinkiness of the gas causes the ambushing robbers (and Neil) to pass out. Thor surveys the wreckage for a good 30 seconds and then proceeds to pick up Neil and walk away.
After a few minutes of walking, Thor realizes that he should probably search through the robbers' pockets to see what information he can gather about them. Inside the pockets are:
1 half chewed Twix
3 pencils
1 empty chapstick tube
1 empty coin purse
32 pennies
17 nickels
23 dimes
2 quarters
1 recipe for Krabby Patties
7 photos of Tony Leair
Thor places the items in his pack and examines the recipe. Stamped across the top were the words, "SECRET RECIPE! IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN TO MR. EUGENE KRABS, C/O KRUSTY KRAB, BIKINI BOTTOM."
"Forsooth!" Thor exclaims, "We must return this recipe immediately. Now if only I knew where Bikini Bottom was."
"Well, you could just ask me you know."
"Who's there?" Thor inquires.
"It's me...Rainbow Valkyrie," says Rainbow Valkyrie.
"Who?"
"THE FREAKIN' BIRD YOU KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT!" the poor bird exclaims.
"Oh. Which way to Bikini Bottom?"
"You didn't say please."
"Please?"
"You know...please...you say it to be polite."
"Sorry, I haven't quite grasped that concept yet."
"Whatever. Follow me."
Thor follows Rainbow Valkyrie through the forest for five minutes before remembering that he's left Neil unconscious in the middle of the forest.
"Oh well," he says to himself, "I'll come back for him later. He can take care of himself."
He was wrong. But more on that later.
Thor and Rainbow Valkyrie arrive in bikini bottom (with much thanks to the help of a friendly local diver and his friendly diving myna for loaning them their SCUBA gear) and locate the Krusty Krab. As they enter Thor feels his stomach growl yet again. Luckily for those in the restaurant, it is merely hunger.
"Oh, man!" Thor declares, "Good thing I'm in a restaurant. I'm starving."
He walks up to the counter and orders a Krabby Patty.
"I'm sorry sir," an obnoxious squid manning the register says, "We lost the recipe."
"Oh, man!" Thor again declares, "I really wanted one."
"Would you like something else?"
"Wait!" Thor exclaims, "I have the recipe right here!"
"YOU HAVE WHAT?!?" yells a stocky little red crab from the back room. "GIVE IT HERE GIVE IT HERE GIVE IT HERE!"
"Here you go," Thor amiably complies.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Mr. Krabs says to the piece of paper.
"Can I get that Krabby Patty now?" Thor asks.
"Yes," Mr. Krabs says, "But since we cooled the grills down while we looked for the recipe you'll have to pay double to justify warming them up again. Also, it's gonna take a while."
"Blast!"
After sating himself with a delicious Krabby Patty, Thor asks the friendly fry cook, who happens to be a sponge, if he knows anything about the Cave of All Secrets. At this point Rainbow Valkyrie chimes in with a repetition of the words, "Cave of All Secrets," as he usually does. The sponge gives them concise directions to a small cave a few miles from Köln, Germany.
Thor thanks him profusely, grabs a Krabby Patty for the road, and the duo swim for the surface.
Meanwhile...
As Neil awakens in the middle of the forest, groggy headed and smelling like stale flatulence, he looks about him and realizes that his not-so-trusty companion has left him alone. The recently awakened robbers have found and surrounded him and are now wielding menacing-looking sticks. They take him to their forest hide-out where the robber king, Robert King, throws him in their makeshift prison until Thor can come repay what he stole from the robbers.
INVENTORY HAS BEEN UPDATED. SEE SIDE LINK.
So we come to the end of the episode. Thor and Rainbow Valkyrie must find a way to get to Köln and Neil must find a way to escape from the evil clutches of the robber king Robert King. As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments Remember, no outcomes, only actions. You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
11.05.2009
10.12.2009
Episode 14: Size Matters
Syonik said...
Thor and Neil should seek the help of the Völva, a Norse prophetess. With her help, perhaps they can see who the girl is, and how they can help her
As we continue...
So the daring duo emerge from the spacecraft and find themselves on a wooded isle. Tall evergreens surround them, extending high overhead. They pause for a moment to take in their surroundings.
"Well now what?" Neil asks.
"Now we search for the girl." Thor replies.
"But how will we find her if we don't even know who she is?"
"The answer is quite simple. We shall first discover her identity. Once that is known it will be easier to figure out who would want to take her."
"But how will we find out who she is?"
"Well...I hadn't thought that far ahead."
The duo walk for an extended period of time. Four hours pass. They see many mushrooms, squirrels (the non-holographic variety), and trees.
Eventually they come across a small clearing. In this clearing is a small hut. In this small hut is a small woman. This small woman happened to come out of the small hut into the small clearing and gave them a small wave...and a small smile.
"Hello," she calls out in her small voice, "What do you want?"
"Are you a witch, perchance?" Thor asks.
"Well, close enough," she replies.
"Can you tell me about a dream I've had?"
"You mean the one with the little girl who's been kidnapped?"
"That's the one!"
"Nope. But I can tell you what your companion's favorite flavor of pudding is."
"Well...that'll have to do I suppose."
"His favorite pudding is..." she begins.
"Yes?" Thor asks.
Suddenly a large hawk swoops down, grasps her in his large talons, and flies away.
"Well that was disappointing," Thor says, dejected. "Well, time to get on with it."
They walk for a few more hours and come across an average sized cave. They walk inside and find a darkly shrouded, average sized man waiting for them.
"Hello," the man greets them, "How may I help you?"
"Well..." Thor begins.
"That was merely a formality. I know what you seek. I know all. The girl is named Samantha Kijk and she has been kidnapped by the fiendish dwarf Fangmeister in the Cave of All Secrets."
"Cave of All Secrets." chimes in Rainbow Valkyrie.
"Wait a minute," Thor says, "You look familiar."
"You met me in 'Episode Four: How Thor Met Frodo or Neil Plays Pokémon.'"
"Wait, what?" Thor asks, befuddled.
"Nevermind. The point is, I instructed you to follow the myna I gave you to the Cave of All Secrets."
"Cave of All Secrets." Rainbow Valkyrie repeats once again.
"Wait a minute," Thor interjects, "Where has the bird been all this time?"
"I've been on your shoulder you dimwit," Rainbow Valkyrie replies, "I'm sorry I don't weigh four hundred pounds, you jerk."
"You can talk?" Neil asks, bewildered.
"Of course I can talk. Why do you think Frodo introduced me as a 'talking myna?'"
"Oh. I forgot about that."
Thor, Neil, and Rainbow Valkyrie leave the cave. Rainbow Valkyrie leads them to a small inlet where a boat is waiting for them. They enter the boat and row to the mainland. They enter the nearby forest and are immediately ambushed by robbers.
So we come to the end of the episode. The duo are surrounded by robbers while their fearful yet faithful bird hides far overhead. How will they get out of this dire situation? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments Remember, no outcomes, only actions. You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
Thor and Neil should seek the help of the Völva, a Norse prophetess. With her help, perhaps they can see who the girl is, and how they can help her
As we continue...
So the daring duo emerge from the spacecraft and find themselves on a wooded isle. Tall evergreens surround them, extending high overhead. They pause for a moment to take in their surroundings.
"Well now what?" Neil asks.
"Now we search for the girl." Thor replies.
"But how will we find her if we don't even know who she is?"
"The answer is quite simple. We shall first discover her identity. Once that is known it will be easier to figure out who would want to take her."
"But how will we find out who she is?"
"Well...I hadn't thought that far ahead."
The duo walk for an extended period of time. Four hours pass. They see many mushrooms, squirrels (the non-holographic variety), and trees.
Eventually they come across a small clearing. In this clearing is a small hut. In this small hut is a small woman. This small woman happened to come out of the small hut into the small clearing and gave them a small wave...and a small smile.
"Hello," she calls out in her small voice, "What do you want?"
"Are you a witch, perchance?" Thor asks.
"Well, close enough," she replies.
"Can you tell me about a dream I've had?"
"You mean the one with the little girl who's been kidnapped?"
"That's the one!"
"Nope. But I can tell you what your companion's favorite flavor of pudding is."
"Well...that'll have to do I suppose."
"His favorite pudding is..." she begins.
"Yes?" Thor asks.
Suddenly a large hawk swoops down, grasps her in his large talons, and flies away.
"Well that was disappointing," Thor says, dejected. "Well, time to get on with it."
They walk for a few more hours and come across an average sized cave. They walk inside and find a darkly shrouded, average sized man waiting for them.
"Hello," the man greets them, "How may I help you?"
"Well..." Thor begins.
"That was merely a formality. I know what you seek. I know all. The girl is named Samantha Kijk and she has been kidnapped by the fiendish dwarf Fangmeister in the Cave of All Secrets."
"Cave of All Secrets." chimes in Rainbow Valkyrie.
"Wait a minute," Thor says, "You look familiar."
"You met me in 'Episode Four: How Thor Met Frodo or Neil Plays Pokémon.'"
"Wait, what?" Thor asks, befuddled.
"Nevermind. The point is, I instructed you to follow the myna I gave you to the Cave of All Secrets."
"Cave of All Secrets." Rainbow Valkyrie repeats once again.
"Wait a minute," Thor interjects, "Where has the bird been all this time?"
"I've been on your shoulder you dimwit," Rainbow Valkyrie replies, "I'm sorry I don't weigh four hundred pounds, you jerk."
"You can talk?" Neil asks, bewildered.
"Of course I can talk. Why do you think Frodo introduced me as a 'talking myna?'"
"Oh. I forgot about that."
Thor, Neil, and Rainbow Valkyrie leave the cave. Rainbow Valkyrie leads them to a small inlet where a boat is waiting for them. They enter the boat and row to the mainland. They enter the nearby forest and are immediately ambushed by robbers.
So we come to the end of the episode. The duo are surrounded by robbers while their fearful yet faithful bird hides far overhead. How will they get out of this dire situation? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments Remember, no outcomes, only actions. You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
9.03.2009
Episode 13: the Rofweiler, the Moal, and the Manteecoare
Since no constructive comments were made, I shall make up my own choices.
As we continue…
As the daring duo enter the sparkling city they glance around nervously, expecting to encounter the natives at any time.
They enter a yard. In the yard is a Rottweiler.
“Hello,” the dog greets them, “My name is Edward.”
“My middle name is Edward!” exclaims Neil.
“It’s a wonderful name, isn’t it?”
“Oh, yes. It is isn’t it?”
“Wait a minute,” Thor interjects, “Since when have canines had the capacity for intelligent speech?”
“Thor,” Neil says, “We’re on another planet. Everything’s going to be different. Maybe the people are like animals and the animals are like people.”
“No,” says Edward, “The people are like people too.”
Suddenly a mole pops out of the ground.
“Uh oh,” warns Thor, “That mole looks pretty vicious.”
“Oh pish-tush,” cajoles Edward, “It’s just a mole. How much damage could it do?”
Suddenly the mole jumps from the ground and latches onto Edward’s jugular. Consequently, the trauma causes him to lose much of his powers of coherent speech.
“Die, evil fiend!” exclaims the mole.
“Let goe, eebil moalee!” declares Edward.
“Look!” Thor cries out, “Here comes a beast with the head of a man, the body of a lion, and the tail of a scorpion!”
“You mean a manticore?” asks Neil.
“Umm, sure.”
The manticore approaches swiftly.
“Halp mee, manteecoare!”
“Attend to me, fair manticore, for this evil fiend doth deserve to perish.”
“Wut deed Ai doo tou yoo?”
“Thy very existence be a blight on this fair paradise.”
“Wut Ai doo?”
“Thy excrement is incredibly vile.”
In one fell swoop the manticore devours both mole and Rottweiler. As the beast turns on our heroes to devour them as well Thor grasps his mighty hammer and hefts it above his head. As the manticore leaps at him he brings it down on its skull, crushing it into oblivion.
“Well that was interesting,” says Thor.
“Interesting?” Neil asks, aghast, “We could have died!”
“But we didn’t.”
“Well, no. I guess we didn’t,” Neil replies, “Oh look, a working spaceship.”
So our duo leaves the surface of the planet and charts a course for Earth. Using a series of wormholes and slingshots (a maneuver that involves using the gravitational pull of a planet or other large object in order to accelerate a spacecraft) they make it home in a week, 3 days, 7 hours, and 42 minutes.
Thor and Neil must continue their quest to recover the kidnapped child. How should they proceed? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
As we continue…
As the daring duo enter the sparkling city they glance around nervously, expecting to encounter the natives at any time.
They enter a yard. In the yard is a Rottweiler.
“Hello,” the dog greets them, “My name is Edward.”
“My middle name is Edward!” exclaims Neil.
“It’s a wonderful name, isn’t it?”
“Oh, yes. It is isn’t it?”
“Wait a minute,” Thor interjects, “Since when have canines had the capacity for intelligent speech?”
“Thor,” Neil says, “We’re on another planet. Everything’s going to be different. Maybe the people are like animals and the animals are like people.”
“No,” says Edward, “The people are like people too.”
Suddenly a mole pops out of the ground.
“Uh oh,” warns Thor, “That mole looks pretty vicious.”
“Oh pish-tush,” cajoles Edward, “It’s just a mole. How much damage could it do?”
Suddenly the mole jumps from the ground and latches onto Edward’s jugular. Consequently, the trauma causes him to lose much of his powers of coherent speech.
“Die, evil fiend!” exclaims the mole.
“Let goe, eebil moalee!” declares Edward.
“Look!” Thor cries out, “Here comes a beast with the head of a man, the body of a lion, and the tail of a scorpion!”
“You mean a manticore?” asks Neil.
“Umm, sure.”
The manticore approaches swiftly.
“Halp mee, manteecoare!”
“Attend to me, fair manticore, for this evil fiend doth deserve to perish.”
“Wut deed Ai doo tou yoo?”
“Thy very existence be a blight on this fair paradise.”
“Wut Ai doo?”
“Thy excrement is incredibly vile.”
In one fell swoop the manticore devours both mole and Rottweiler. As the beast turns on our heroes to devour them as well Thor grasps his mighty hammer and hefts it above his head. As the manticore leaps at him he brings it down on its skull, crushing it into oblivion.
“Well that was interesting,” says Thor.
“Interesting?” Neil asks, aghast, “We could have died!”
“But we didn’t.”
“Well, no. I guess we didn’t,” Neil replies, “Oh look, a working spaceship.”
So our duo leaves the surface of the planet and charts a course for Earth. Using a series of wormholes and slingshots (a maneuver that involves using the gravitational pull of a planet or other large object in order to accelerate a spacecraft) they make it home in a week, 3 days, 7 hours, and 42 minutes.
Thor and Neil must continue their quest to recover the kidnapped child. How should they proceed? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
3.16.2009
Episode 12: Ruckus, Rocket, Rodent
Neil The Real Deal said...
the next one should include some sort of space adventure. also the squirrel should come back to haunt them, the one they hit with the rock.
Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thor thinking quickly heaves Neil at the fearsome foe, lodging him deep in the wolf's temple.
Charhead said...
A pancake is somehow involved.
Robert van Wye said...
I'd like to remind Neil that...nevermind. Space travel is plausible to the story line.
Syonik said...
Though, perhaps not space...but time!
Or valhalla
As we continue...
Thorvald, in a moment of genius, grasps his mighty hammer and holds it out to Neil.
"Take this!"
"Why?"
"Just do it or I'll imbed it in your skull."
"Fine. But don't expect me to like it."
Neil grips the hammer and struggles to lift it. Meanwhile Thor grabs him and whips him around his head in a circular pattern. After five or four rapid circles he lets fly. Neil flies through the air in a beautiful arc. The wolf, seeing Neil coming, races toward his prey. Neil's first instinct is to protect his head. In a burst of adrenaline he swings the hammer between his cranium and the wolf's oral orifice. The hammer smashes into the wolf's canine canines and through into his temple. Consequently, the wolf permanently loses consciousness.
"Excellent work, Neil," Thor says from behind him.
"How did you get to shore so fast?"
"I tied a rope around your ankles and used the great strength of my brutish throw."
"That's a bit far-fetched don't you think?"
"No. It seems perfectly plausible to me."
"Right. Now what?"
"Now we find our way out of the forest."
"Hey look! That sign says, 'This way out of forest.' Maybe we should go that way."
"Great thinking, Neil."
And so they find themselves in a small suburb. The previous events have caused them to work up quite an appetite. They immediately go to a nearby pancake joint and order up four stacks of pancakes. Thor eats three stacks. Neil eats one pancake. Under this pancake is a cryptic message instructing them to find their way to the city limits and meet a shady looking character. So they do.
They meet up with said shady looking character.
"My name is Charlie G. Nice to meet me," he says
"Don't you mean 'nice to meet you?'" Neil asks.
"Of course it is. That's what I said isn't it?"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"No, I said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"That's what I just said!"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet you.'"
"Enough!" Thor interjects, "What do you want of us?"
"Oh. Right. Umm...just go in that door over there."
"Why?" Thor asks.
"You'll see," he attempts to say between snickers.
"Fine," Thor says.
They enter through the door and find themselves in a cylindrical metal room. Below them is a door. Above them is a door. In front of them is a button that says, "Push only if completely confused." So they do.
Below them they hear the rumble of engines as the rocket blasts off. The look out the conveniently placed convex porthole to see Charlie G laughing his head off.
"What a strange man," Neil observes.
The rocket accelerates past lightspeed and well into hyperdrive. A couple days later Thor and Neil (who have been doing many crossword puzzles) feel a small bump. When they look out the porthole they find themselves on alien terrain. The bluish tint of the sand and the reddish tint of the sun lead them to the conclusion that they are on a different planet. Thor heads toward the door.
"Wait!" Neil shouts.
"What?"
"How do you know there's air out there?"
"I don't," Thor replies as he opens the door. "Hey, I'm still breathing. You can stop covering your facial cavities now."
After a few hours of exploring they decide to sit down for a rest.
"Where are we?" Neil asks.
"Well, judging from the signs I would say we're on the fourth planet of the Gilba system, Valhalla."
"You're making that up."
"No, look at that sign."
Neil looks to his left and sees a sign that says in many languages (both terran and extraterrestrial), "Welcome to beautiful Valhalla, the fourth planet of the Gilba system."
"Ooooooh," floats a voice from behind them.
"What's that?" asks a very nervous Neil.
"It looks like some sort of semi-transparent squirrel."
They walk toward it and determine that it is some sort of hologram.
"Look, civilization!" exclaims Neil.
As they walk into the golden city they ponder many questions. What will they find? Will the natives speak English? Will they ever get home? Is the plural of platypus really platypodes?
How will Thor and Neil conduct themselves on this alien planet? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
the next one should include some sort of space adventure. also the squirrel should come back to haunt them, the one they hit with the rock.
Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thor thinking quickly heaves Neil at the fearsome foe, lodging him deep in the wolf's temple.
Charhead said...
A pancake is somehow involved.
Robert van Wye said...
I'd like to remind Neil that...nevermind. Space travel is plausible to the story line.
Syonik said...
Though, perhaps not space...but time!
Or valhalla
As we continue...
Thorvald, in a moment of genius, grasps his mighty hammer and holds it out to Neil.
"Take this!"
"Why?"
"Just do it or I'll imbed it in your skull."
"Fine. But don't expect me to like it."
Neil grips the hammer and struggles to lift it. Meanwhile Thor grabs him and whips him around his head in a circular pattern. After five or four rapid circles he lets fly. Neil flies through the air in a beautiful arc. The wolf, seeing Neil coming, races toward his prey. Neil's first instinct is to protect his head. In a burst of adrenaline he swings the hammer between his cranium and the wolf's oral orifice. The hammer smashes into the wolf's canine canines and through into his temple. Consequently, the wolf permanently loses consciousness.
"Excellent work, Neil," Thor says from behind him.
"How did you get to shore so fast?"
"I tied a rope around your ankles and used the great strength of my brutish throw."
"That's a bit far-fetched don't you think?"
"No. It seems perfectly plausible to me."
"Right. Now what?"
"Now we find our way out of the forest."
"Hey look! That sign says, 'This way out of forest.' Maybe we should go that way."
"Great thinking, Neil."
And so they find themselves in a small suburb. The previous events have caused them to work up quite an appetite. They immediately go to a nearby pancake joint and order up four stacks of pancakes. Thor eats three stacks. Neil eats one pancake. Under this pancake is a cryptic message instructing them to find their way to the city limits and meet a shady looking character. So they do.
They meet up with said shady looking character.
"My name is Charlie G. Nice to meet me," he says
"Don't you mean 'nice to meet you?'" Neil asks.
"Of course it is. That's what I said isn't it?"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"No, I said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"That's what I just said!"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet you.'"
"Enough!" Thor interjects, "What do you want of us?"
"Oh. Right. Umm...just go in that door over there."
"Why?" Thor asks.
"You'll see," he attempts to say between snickers.
"Fine," Thor says.
They enter through the door and find themselves in a cylindrical metal room. Below them is a door. Above them is a door. In front of them is a button that says, "Push only if completely confused." So they do.
Below them they hear the rumble of engines as the rocket blasts off. The look out the conveniently placed convex porthole to see Charlie G laughing his head off.
"What a strange man," Neil observes.
The rocket accelerates past lightspeed and well into hyperdrive. A couple days later Thor and Neil (who have been doing many crossword puzzles) feel a small bump. When they look out the porthole they find themselves on alien terrain. The bluish tint of the sand and the reddish tint of the sun lead them to the conclusion that they are on a different planet. Thor heads toward the door.
"Wait!" Neil shouts.
"What?"
"How do you know there's air out there?"
"I don't," Thor replies as he opens the door. "Hey, I'm still breathing. You can stop covering your facial cavities now."
After a few hours of exploring they decide to sit down for a rest.
"Where are we?" Neil asks.
"Well, judging from the signs I would say we're on the fourth planet of the Gilba system, Valhalla."
"You're making that up."
"No, look at that sign."
Neil looks to his left and sees a sign that says in many languages (both terran and extraterrestrial), "Welcome to beautiful Valhalla, the fourth planet of the Gilba system."
"Ooooooh," floats a voice from behind them.
"What's that?" asks a very nervous Neil.
"It looks like some sort of semi-transparent squirrel."
They walk toward it and determine that it is some sort of hologram.
"Look, civilization!" exclaims Neil.
As they walk into the golden city they ponder many questions. What will they find? Will the natives speak English? Will they ever get home? Is the plural of platypus really platypodes?
How will Thor and Neil conduct themselves on this alien planet? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
3.09.2009
Episode 11: The Northwestern Excursion
Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thorvald uses rock
Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions
Neil The Real Deal said...
Neil should wip out his sailing knowledge and save everyone in a dramatic getaway.
Syonik said...
BTW, this mission should lead Thorvald the the Pacific Northwest, where he can meet some new, if temporary sidekicks.
As we continue...
Back at the lab, Thor goes about his morning routine of brushing his teeth, drinking his coffee, and gnawing on a large hock of ham. He notices, however, that the morning paper has not been delivered. Not one to sit about wondering why such a tragedy has occurred, he decides to investigate. He studies all the signs; the broken mailbox, the smears of mustard on the ground, and the large sign saying, "Vote Sarah Palin for President in 2012!" He then concludes that whilst Neil was eating a hot dog and pounding in the political sign, he must have slipped and dropped his wiener (explaining the mustard smears). Also, some mail thief broke their mailbox and absconded with their mail that morning (also taking the paper with him).
"Rats," he says, "I was looking forward to reading up on the new slide they're putting in at the public park."
So he walks down to the newspaper stand. He notices a teenager sitting by the stand reading a graphic novel about a man marooned on an island. He buys his newspaper and is about to head home when he notices a large dog in the middle of the road. This is no ordinary dog, mind you. It's so huge that if it scratched its ears it would cause a small earthquake the likes of which old people would talk about for years on end (luckily its ears didn't itch).
"Hello dog."
"Hello man."
"You talk?"
"You talk. Why shouldn't I?"
"Fair enough."
"Good day."
"Good day."
And so they go their respective ways.
Back at the lab Thor sits down to read his paper. Suddenly the television snaps on.
"Hello, Thorvald."
"Who are you? And how do you know my name? In fact, how did you know I was even in the room?"
"Let's just say I'm the villain of the plot. Let's just say we've been watching you for quite some time. AND let's just say that the new 'magnet' on the fridge should be 'taken care of' post haste."
"You're starting to creep me out."
"Let's just say..."
"Stop. I mean it."
"Oh alright. Just come to Washington state so we can duel it out. If you don't a little girl is going to be disappointed. Veeery disappointed."
"How disappointed?"
"Let's just say that she'll be so disappointed she'll be dead."
"Um...that was terrible. And your delivery was awful."
"I will not stand here and be criticized! Good day!"
The television snaps off.
Some minutes later, Thor is packing. Neil is ambling around in his underwear. Keldon is tinkering with an object that resembles the illegitimate child of a blender and a toaster oven.
"What's that?" Thor asks.
"It's a device that allows one to speak to animals."
"Really? Have you tested it out yet."
"Yes. This morning I used it with a dog in order to allow him to vocalize his higher thinking abilities."
"Oh. I ran into him earlier. It worked great. Why are you still messing with it?"
"Well, I would rather give the animals a sea dialect whereas they currently speak with a cockney."
"Ah. We need to go to Seattle."
"Feel free to take the portal."
"What portal?"
"It looks like the illegitimate child of a computer and a refrigerator."
"Oh. That thing."
After a quick trip to Willy's Fine Weapon Emporium Thor and Neil find themselves fully armed and ready for a journey into the great Pacific Northwest.
"Did you pack snacks?" Neil asks.
"Um...no."
"Use-a you brain-a next time-a you think-a!"
"We'll get some snacks when we get there."
With a high pitched whine, a few sparks, a crackle, and the scent of ozone, they were off. After a couple seconds they were standing in a forest. Thor felt nauseous. Neil vomited.
"Great. 'We'll get some snacks we get there,' huh?"
"Shut up and let me reorient myself. Let's see, that's North and that's East. Let's go West."
"Fine. But you owe me food."
Thor sees a small squirrel in a tree and dry branches on the ground.
"Just a minute."
Thor grabs a large yet surprisingly round rock and lobs it at the beast. It leaps out of the way in the nick of time. The rock continues to fly through the air, finally falling and thwacking another squirrel on the head.
"Not what I meant to do but it works."
Thor builds a small fire and cooks the squirrel.
"Now I owe you no longer."
"Fine. But it tasted awful and it was impossible to chew."
They find their way out of the forest and onto a highway. There they continue to walk in a westerly direction. They find their way to a small lake. There they decide to rest and participate in recreational activities such as swimming and burying each other in the cold dirt (which is not as much fun as in the warm sand).
Suddenly, a large wolf jumps out of a bush at them. Now Thor could take down scores of normal wolves easily. But this one is so huge that he doubts they can escape, let alone defeat it. And so they run. Neil notices a smallish sailing vessel moored to a nearby dock.
"Quick, into the boat."
Neil uses his particularly fine sailing skills to steer them out into the middle of the lake, out of reach of the wolf. The wolf circles around the lake, waiting for them to leave the boat so that he can attack and devour our fearless hero and his braver-than-most sidekick.
How will Thor and Neil escape this dire predicament? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
Thorvald uses rock
Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions
Neil The Real Deal said...
Neil should wip out his sailing knowledge and save everyone in a dramatic getaway.
Syonik said...
BTW, this mission should lead Thorvald the the Pacific Northwest, where he can meet some new, if temporary sidekicks.
As we continue...
Back at the lab, Thor goes about his morning routine of brushing his teeth, drinking his coffee, and gnawing on a large hock of ham. He notices, however, that the morning paper has not been delivered. Not one to sit about wondering why such a tragedy has occurred, he decides to investigate. He studies all the signs; the broken mailbox, the smears of mustard on the ground, and the large sign saying, "Vote Sarah Palin for President in 2012!" He then concludes that whilst Neil was eating a hot dog and pounding in the political sign, he must have slipped and dropped his wiener (explaining the mustard smears). Also, some mail thief broke their mailbox and absconded with their mail that morning (also taking the paper with him).
"Rats," he says, "I was looking forward to reading up on the new slide they're putting in at the public park."
So he walks down to the newspaper stand. He notices a teenager sitting by the stand reading a graphic novel about a man marooned on an island. He buys his newspaper and is about to head home when he notices a large dog in the middle of the road. This is no ordinary dog, mind you. It's so huge that if it scratched its ears it would cause a small earthquake the likes of which old people would talk about for years on end (luckily its ears didn't itch).
"Hello dog."
"Hello man."
"You talk?"
"You talk. Why shouldn't I?"
"Fair enough."
"Good day."
"Good day."
And so they go their respective ways.
Back at the lab Thor sits down to read his paper. Suddenly the television snaps on.
"Hello, Thorvald."
"Who are you? And how do you know my name? In fact, how did you know I was even in the room?"
"Let's just say I'm the villain of the plot. Let's just say we've been watching you for quite some time. AND let's just say that the new 'magnet' on the fridge should be 'taken care of' post haste."
"You're starting to creep me out."
"Let's just say..."
"Stop. I mean it."
"Oh alright. Just come to Washington state so we can duel it out. If you don't a little girl is going to be disappointed. Veeery disappointed."
"How disappointed?"
"Let's just say that she'll be so disappointed she'll be dead."
"Um...that was terrible. And your delivery was awful."
"I will not stand here and be criticized! Good day!"
The television snaps off.
Some minutes later, Thor is packing. Neil is ambling around in his underwear. Keldon is tinkering with an object that resembles the illegitimate child of a blender and a toaster oven.
"What's that?" Thor asks.
"It's a device that allows one to speak to animals."
"Really? Have you tested it out yet."
"Yes. This morning I used it with a dog in order to allow him to vocalize his higher thinking abilities."
"Oh. I ran into him earlier. It worked great. Why are you still messing with it?"
"Well, I would rather give the animals a sea dialect whereas they currently speak with a cockney."
"Ah. We need to go to Seattle."
"Feel free to take the portal."
"What portal?"
"It looks like the illegitimate child of a computer and a refrigerator."
"Oh. That thing."
After a quick trip to Willy's Fine Weapon Emporium Thor and Neil find themselves fully armed and ready for a journey into the great Pacific Northwest.
"Did you pack snacks?" Neil asks.
"Um...no."
"Use-a you brain-a next time-a you think-a!"
"We'll get some snacks when we get there."
With a high pitched whine, a few sparks, a crackle, and the scent of ozone, they were off. After a couple seconds they were standing in a forest. Thor felt nauseous. Neil vomited.
"Great. 'We'll get some snacks we get there,' huh?"
"Shut up and let me reorient myself. Let's see, that's North and that's East. Let's go West."
"Fine. But you owe me food."
Thor sees a small squirrel in a tree and dry branches on the ground.
"Just a minute."
Thor grabs a large yet surprisingly round rock and lobs it at the beast. It leaps out of the way in the nick of time. The rock continues to fly through the air, finally falling and thwacking another squirrel on the head.
"Not what I meant to do but it works."
Thor builds a small fire and cooks the squirrel.
"Now I owe you no longer."
"Fine. But it tasted awful and it was impossible to chew."
They find their way out of the forest and onto a highway. There they continue to walk in a westerly direction. They find their way to a small lake. There they decide to rest and participate in recreational activities such as swimming and burying each other in the cold dirt (which is not as much fun as in the warm sand).
Suddenly, a large wolf jumps out of a bush at them. Now Thor could take down scores of normal wolves easily. But this one is so huge that he doubts they can escape, let alone defeat it. And so they run. Neil notices a smallish sailing vessel moored to a nearby dock.
"Quick, into the boat."
Neil uses his particularly fine sailing skills to steer them out into the middle of the lake, out of reach of the wolf. The wolf circles around the lake, waiting for them to leave the boat so that he can attack and devour our fearless hero and his braver-than-most sidekick.
How will Thor and Neil escape this dire predicament? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.
2.01.2009
Episode 10: The Ogre's Cave
Anonymous said...
It's dark, A gun. Flash bang. A body flwumps to the floor unceremoniously. Out from the shadows a shadowy figure emerges. His dark and gloomy expression matches the cold steel of his .45 revolver. His eyes, like dogs eyes.
Blogger Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions
Due to the specificity of the comments, neither will be used.
As we continue...
"She's been sleeping for a few hours," the gruff voice says, "She should be waking up any time now."
"Make sure she knows what's going on," a smooth and slimy voice replies, "I want her to be scared out of her mind when they find her."
"Right."
"Hello?" the girl says, "Who's there?"
The grimy blindfold is ripped off of her face. Two men face her. One man is tall and brawny, with a blank stare on his face. He wears She concludes that his intelligence must be rather low. The other is a thin, oily man. He wears a long black trenchcoat and his long black hair is greasy and reflects the dull glow of the flickering lights. The spark of severity that glints in his eye causes her to quiver in fear.
"Now then, little girl, do you know who I am?" the oily one asks.
"You're the scary man in my dreams."
His cold laugh lends his already evil countenance a new level of repugnance.
"No. I'm much, much worse."
"Where am I?"
"All in good time, Sam. You see, your father has something of mine and I want it back. Until he returns it I will see to it that your every waking hour is filled with terror and pain."
"Please..."
"I'm not finished," he shouts as his hand collides with her cheek, "Now, you are to repeat after me; I am a worthless piece of slime and I will do everything you say."
"You are a worthless piece of slime and you will do everything I say."
She suddenly sees stars as the pain explodes in her temple. She loses her vision for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry. Did that hurt? I really should learn to control my temper."
"Please..."
"Say it."
"I am a worthless piece of slime and I will do everything you say."
"Good. Now drink this."
The large one hands her a bowl. Inside is a violet, viscous liquid. The sweet smell drifts up to her nostrils as her stomach heaves once more. She lifts the bowl slowly to her lips and takes a sip.
Suddenly the room is transformed. The men are replaced with ogres and the brick walls are now stone. The flourescent overhead lighting is a single torch flickering on the wall. Her own shriek is the last thing she hears before she passes out.
Coming soon: Thorvald comes to the rescue. What will his strategy consist of? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will usually be on Saturdays.
It's dark, A gun. Flash bang. A body flwumps to the floor unceremoniously. Out from the shadows a shadowy figure emerges. His dark and gloomy expression matches the cold steel of his .45 revolver. His eyes, like dogs eyes.
Blogger Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions
Due to the specificity of the comments, neither will be used.
As we continue...
"She's been sleeping for a few hours," the gruff voice says, "She should be waking up any time now."
"Make sure she knows what's going on," a smooth and slimy voice replies, "I want her to be scared out of her mind when they find her."
"Right."
"Hello?" the girl says, "Who's there?"
The grimy blindfold is ripped off of her face. Two men face her. One man is tall and brawny, with a blank stare on his face. He wears She concludes that his intelligence must be rather low. The other is a thin, oily man. He wears a long black trenchcoat and his long black hair is greasy and reflects the dull glow of the flickering lights. The spark of severity that glints in his eye causes her to quiver in fear.
"Now then, little girl, do you know who I am?" the oily one asks.
"You're the scary man in my dreams."
His cold laugh lends his already evil countenance a new level of repugnance.
"No. I'm much, much worse."
"Where am I?"
"All in good time, Sam. You see, your father has something of mine and I want it back. Until he returns it I will see to it that your every waking hour is filled with terror and pain."
"Please..."
"I'm not finished," he shouts as his hand collides with her cheek, "Now, you are to repeat after me; I am a worthless piece of slime and I will do everything you say."
"You are a worthless piece of slime and you will do everything I say."
She suddenly sees stars as the pain explodes in her temple. She loses her vision for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry. Did that hurt? I really should learn to control my temper."
"Please..."
"Say it."
"I am a worthless piece of slime and I will do everything you say."
"Good. Now drink this."
The large one hands her a bowl. Inside is a violet, viscous liquid. The sweet smell drifts up to her nostrils as her stomach heaves once more. She lifts the bowl slowly to her lips and takes a sip.
Suddenly the room is transformed. The men are replaced with ogres and the brick walls are now stone. The flourescent overhead lighting is a single torch flickering on the wall. Her own shriek is the last thing she hears before she passes out.
Coming soon: Thorvald comes to the rescue. What will his strategy consist of? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will usually be on Saturdays.
1.29.2009
Episode 9: A Brief Introduction
As we continue...
The small girl sits shivering on the floor, clad in rags. The damp air seems to be sucking the warmth from her bones. The smell of dirt and sweat reaches out to her nostrils from the blindfold on her face and she feels her stomach heave. Her wrists burn from the rope tied around her wrists. She lays on the ground and begins to cry.
She hears footsteps approaching.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
"Here," the voice is gruff and unpleasant, "drink this if you know what's good for you."
She feels a bowl at her lips and sips. The thick, overly sweet liquid pours down her dry throat and makes its way to her stomach, causing it to heave once more and then grow silent. Her body slowly goes numb and she slips back into blackness, the footsteps fading as her captor returns to his post.
As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will usually be on Saturdays.
The small girl sits shivering on the floor, clad in rags. The damp air seems to be sucking the warmth from her bones. The smell of dirt and sweat reaches out to her nostrils from the blindfold on her face and she feels her stomach heave. Her wrists burn from the rope tied around her wrists. She lays on the ground and begins to cry.
She hears footsteps approaching.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
"Here," the voice is gruff and unpleasant, "drink this if you know what's good for you."
She feels a bowl at her lips and sips. The thick, overly sweet liquid pours down her dry throat and makes its way to her stomach, causing it to heave once more and then grow silent. Her body slowly goes numb and she slips back into blackness, the footsteps fading as her captor returns to his post.
As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will usually be on Saturdays.
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