Episode 11: The Northwestern Excursion

Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thorvald uses rock

Syonik said...
Suddenly, Thorvald's eyes snapped open from his meditation and he called his companions

Neil The Real Deal said...
Neil should wip out his sailing knowledge and save everyone in a dramatic getaway.

Syonik said...
BTW, this mission should lead Thorvald the the Pacific Northwest, where he can meet some new, if temporary sidekicks.

As we continue...
Back at the lab, Thor goes about his morning routine of brushing his teeth, drinking his coffee, and gnawing on a large hock of ham. He notices, however, that the morning paper has not been delivered. Not one to sit about wondering why such a tragedy has occurred, he decides to investigate. He studies all the signs; the broken mailbox, the smears of mustard on the ground, and the large sign saying, "Vote Sarah Palin for President in 2012!" He then concludes that whilst Neil was eating a hot dog and pounding in the political sign, he must have slipped and dropped his wiener (explaining the mustard smears). Also, some mail thief broke their mailbox and absconded with their mail that morning (also taking the paper with him).

"Rats," he says, "I was looking forward to reading up on the new slide they're putting in at the public park."

So he walks down to the newspaper stand. He notices a teenager sitting by the stand reading a graphic novel about a man marooned on an island. He buys his newspaper and is about to head home when he notices a large dog in the middle of the road. This is no ordinary dog, mind you. It's so huge that if it scratched its ears it would cause a small earthquake the likes of which old people would talk about for years on end (luckily its ears didn't itch).

"Hello dog."
"Hello man."
"You talk?"
"You talk. Why shouldn't I?"
"Fair enough."
"Good day."
"Good day."

And so they go their respective ways.

Back at the lab Thor sits down to read his paper. Suddenly the television snaps on.

"Hello, Thorvald."
"Who are you? And how do you know my name? In fact, how did you know I was even in the room?"
"Let's just say I'm the villain of the plot. Let's just say we've been watching you for quite some time. AND let's just say that the new 'magnet' on the fridge should be 'taken care of' post haste."
"You're starting to creep me out."
"Let's just say..."
"Stop. I mean it."
"Oh alright. Just come to Washington state so we can duel it out. If you don't a little girl is going to be disappointed. Veeery disappointed."
"How disappointed?"
"Let's just say that she'll be so disappointed she'll be dead."
"Um...that was terrible. And your delivery was awful."
"I will not stand here and be criticized! Good day!"

The television snaps off.

Some minutes later, Thor is packing. Neil is ambling around in his underwear. Keldon is tinkering with an object that resembles the illegitimate child of a blender and a toaster oven.

"What's that?" Thor asks.
"It's a device that allows one to speak to animals."
"Really? Have you tested it out yet."
"Yes. This morning I used it with a dog in order to allow him to vocalize his higher thinking abilities."
"Oh. I ran into him earlier. It worked great. Why are you still messing with it?"
"Well, I would rather give the animals a sea dialect whereas they currently speak with a cockney."
"Ah. We need to go to Seattle."
"Feel free to take the portal."
"What portal?"
"It looks like the illegitimate child of a computer and a refrigerator."
"Oh. That thing."

After a quick trip to Willy's Fine Weapon Emporium Thor and Neil find themselves fully armed and ready for a journey into the great Pacific Northwest.

"Did you pack snacks?" Neil asks.
"Um...no."
"Use-a you brain-a next time-a you think-a!"
"We'll get some snacks when we get there."

With a high pitched whine, a few sparks, a crackle, and the scent of ozone, they were off. After a couple seconds they were standing in a forest. Thor felt nauseous. Neil vomited.

"Great. 'We'll get some snacks we get there,' huh?"
"Shut up and let me reorient myself. Let's see, that's North and that's East. Let's go West."
"Fine. But you owe me food."

Thor sees a small squirrel in a tree and dry branches on the ground.

"Just a minute."

Thor grabs a large yet surprisingly round rock and lobs it at the beast. It leaps out of the way in the nick of time. The rock continues to fly through the air, finally falling and thwacking another squirrel on the head.

"Not what I meant to do but it works."

Thor builds a small fire and cooks the squirrel.

"Now I owe you no longer."
"Fine. But it tasted awful and it was impossible to chew."

They find their way out of the forest and onto a highway. There they continue to walk in a westerly direction. They find their way to a small lake. There they decide to rest and participate in recreational activities such as swimming and burying each other in the cold dirt (which is not as much fun as in the warm sand).

Suddenly, a large wolf jumps out of a bush at them. Now Thor could take down scores of normal wolves easily. But this one is so huge that he doubts they can escape, let alone defeat it. And so they run. Neil notices a smallish sailing vessel moored to a nearby dock.

"Quick, into the boat."

Neil uses his particularly fine sailing skills to steer them out into the middle of the lake, out of reach of the wolf. The wolf circles around the lake, waiting for them to leave the boat so that he can attack and devour our fearless hero and his braver-than-most sidekick.

How will Thor and Neil escape this dire predicament? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.