Episode 12: Ruckus, Rocket, Rodent

Neil The Real Deal said...
the next one should include some sort of space adventure. also the squirrel should come back to haunt them, the one they hit with the rock.

Liom "Ders" Fjordson said...
Thor thinking quickly heaves Neil at the fearsome foe, lodging him deep in the wolf's temple.

Charhead said...
A pancake is somehow involved.

Robert van Wye said...
I'd like to remind Neil that...nevermind. Space travel is plausible to the story line.

Syonik said...
Though, perhaps not space...but time!
Or valhalla

As we continue...
Thorvald, in a moment of genius, grasps his mighty hammer and holds it out to Neil.

"Take this!"
"Why?"
"Just do it or I'll imbed it in your skull."
"Fine. But don't expect me to like it."

Neil grips the hammer and struggles to lift it. Meanwhile Thor grabs him and whips him around his head in a circular pattern. After five or four rapid circles he lets fly. Neil flies through the air in a beautiful arc. The wolf, seeing Neil coming, races toward his prey. Neil's first instinct is to protect his head. In a burst of adrenaline he swings the hammer between his cranium and the wolf's oral orifice. The hammer smashes into the wolf's canine canines and through into his temple. Consequently, the wolf permanently loses consciousness.

"Excellent work, Neil," Thor says from behind him.
"How did you get to shore so fast?"
"I tied a rope around your ankles and used the great strength of my brutish throw."
"That's a bit far-fetched don't you think?"
"No. It seems perfectly plausible to me."
"Right. Now what?"
"Now we find our way out of the forest."
"Hey look! That sign says, 'This way out of forest.' Maybe we should go that way."
"Great thinking, Neil."

And so they find themselves in a small suburb. The previous events have caused them to work up quite an appetite. They immediately go to a nearby pancake joint and order up four stacks of pancakes. Thor eats three stacks. Neil eats one pancake. Under this pancake is a cryptic message instructing them to find their way to the city limits and meet a shady looking character. So they do.

They meet up with said shady looking character.

"My name is Charlie G. Nice to meet me," he says
"Don't you mean 'nice to meet you?'" Neil asks.
"Of course it is. That's what I said isn't it?"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"No, I said, 'Nice to meet me.'"
"That's what I just said!"
"No, you said, 'Nice to meet you.'"
"Enough!" Thor interjects, "What do you want of us?"
"Oh. Right. Umm...just go in that door over there."
"Why?" Thor asks.
"You'll see," he attempts to say between snickers.
"Fine," Thor says.

They enter through the door and find themselves in a cylindrical metal room. Below them is a door. Above them is a door. In front of them is a button that says, "Push only if completely confused." So they do.

Below them they hear the rumble of engines as the rocket blasts off. The look out the conveniently placed convex porthole to see Charlie G laughing his head off.

"What a strange man," Neil observes.

The rocket accelerates past lightspeed and well into hyperdrive. A couple days later Thor and Neil (who have been doing many crossword puzzles) feel a small bump. When they look out the porthole they find themselves on alien terrain. The bluish tint of the sand and the reddish tint of the sun lead them to the conclusion that they are on a different planet. Thor heads toward the door.

"Wait!" Neil shouts.
"What?"
"How do you know there's air out there?"
"I don't," Thor replies as he opens the door. "Hey, I'm still breathing. You can stop covering your facial cavities now."

After a few hours of exploring they decide to sit down for a rest.

"Where are we?" Neil asks.
"Well, judging from the signs I would say we're on the fourth planet of the Gilba system, Valhalla."
"You're making that up."
"No, look at that sign."

Neil looks to his left and sees a sign that says in many languages (both terran and extraterrestrial), "Welcome to beautiful Valhalla, the fourth planet of the Gilba system."

"Ooooooh," floats a voice from behind them.
"What's that?" asks a very nervous Neil.
"It looks like some sort of semi-transparent squirrel."

They walk toward it and determine that it is some sort of hologram.

"Look, civilization!" exclaims Neil.

As they walk into the golden city they ponder many questions. What will they find? Will the natives speak English? Will they ever get home? Is the plural of platypus really platypodes?

How will Thor and Neil conduct themselves on this alien planet? As always, leave suggestions in the form of comments (which can be found just above the beginning of the episode. Remember, no outcomes, only actions). You give an action, I give an outcome. Updates will be posted when the author decides that the number of comments posted is sufficient.